Getting deep…on being the most selfish person ever.
Do you ever stop and think to yourself, “I am so incredibly selfish.”
I’m having one of those moments. Let me give you a little back story. In the first year of our marriage, we overcame:
-Coming home from our honeymoon to my parent’s house (we were living with them at the time because my husband was still in the years-long search for a cop job)
-Surprise! You may be bringing home your newborn to your parent’s basement.
-No worries, your husband just got a job as a security guard at the county prison. Sure, you’re pretty much going to be a single working mom since he’ll be working overnights. But go ahead and start looking for a house.
-Welcome to your first real home! And say hello to your lovely baby girl 🙂
-Just kidding, your husband is getting laid off after 7 months of working and now you have a brand new baby and a brand new mortgage with no reliable source of income or medical insurance.
I know that things could have been SO MUCH WORSE. We were all healthy. We had somewhere to go if need be. And luckily unemployment helped us get by for the meantime (ahem, 6 months.) Â But dang, I can’t believe I survived with my sanity despite all of life’s curve balls, all the while dealing with post-partum.
And now: I have an incredible husband with a steady Monday-Friday job, a healthy and vivacious little girl, I get to work with my mother and sister at a thriving dance studio (in fact, I feel guilty calling it work because I love it so much), both my husband and myself have amazing and supportive families, sure we budget but we’re comfortable enough that we aren’t worried about money, I could go on and on.
And for some darn reason all of this isn’t enough for me. And no, that wasn’t me bragging. I still have those nagging thoughts of “I can’t wait to have my dream house.” or “I wish we could just take off and fly to some tropical paradise without having to budget for an entire year.” What is wrong with me?
I know that it’s just human nature. To want more than you have. But I think I need to have a little reality check, and I guess this is it.
Totally human nature and trust me we share a mother-daughter with my parents right now while saving for our first home. I am so thankful, but there are times I too wish for more. So yes I can truly relate and then some!!
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You've overcome so much in the pat year! I know what it's like to have the feeling of not enough, but there are definitely times that you take a moment to appreciate all that has been had and dealt in the past. You sound totally appreciative.
You are the best. Period. So proud of you, gives me hope for my future.
I had no idea how close our stories are to each others! My husband is a cop and had to be on unemployment while he put himself through the police academy and all the while we were living with my dad and I was pregnant with Bunny.
Wow, what an incredible year. How old is your daughter? I'm so happy to have found your blog (new follower from hop)! I'm looking forward to reading more from you. You're right, I think it is human nature, and also I think it's good to be looking forward, as long as you can be thankful for what you have now, what's wrong with being motivated to shape your future?
http://Www.projectprocrastinot.blogspot.com
Makes me feel so good knowing there are so many people out there who can relate 🙂
Thanks Yelle 🙂 I try to give myself a few “slap in the face” reality checks every once in awhile.
No you are.
That's crazy! You know exactly what we went though then.
She's a crazy almost 2 year old now. I like your outlook: being motivated to shape your future.
I think all of us need to have reality checks every once in a while. Brian and I went through something similar all of last year and it was rough and I never thought we would see the light at the end of the tunnel. Fortunately it does come but still … ugh!
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(¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
http://www.raising-reagan.com
We do need reality checks every once in a while, that's for sure!
Guilty! I have definitely done that, but there is always something to keep us in check. I think I need that picture right above mu bed to read every morning.
Great post!
I'm so guilty of this… My husband and I just got married, so we're still in the “overcoming” stage, but I still have a lot to be thankful for. My husband has done everything he can to support us (working two jobs) and I finally graduated and was fortunate enough to find full-time work before I was even done with school. Either way, I find that being focused on the positives and blessings help push me through the more difficult moments of life. Great post… thanks for the honesty 🙂
I definitely would love to have it hanging somewhere visible as a gentle reminder.
Stay strong. In the tough moments I just kept telling myself, “everything happens for a reason…” and it totally does. That is so awesome that you found a full time job so quickly! Where do you blog? I would love to stay connected 🙂
It's always nice to hear that someone else went through something similar! In our first year my husband was laid off of two seperate jobs which forced us to move down south to live with my parents until he found work and I found a new job. we weren't pregnant but the job thing we can relate!
Along with the others I too have had many challenges to overcome. Pregnant at 15, a widow at 16 I could go on and on. I call these curves in the road character building. Working in a pharmacy I encounter folks of all ages battling terrible diseases and I count my blessings daily. Knowing this I still whine and complain about trivial things and I always want more. I give back to the less fortunate in a few different ways which helps ease my guilt for must selfishness. It's a tough world we live in and dreams or wishing for “stuff” give us hope. xxx
http://www.allmyivesnow.com
I'm definitely trying. Things are going to improve! I'm over at http://impossiblyelise.blogspot.com/ 🙂
I love this graphic you posted! What a reality check! And I don't think its selfish wanting more for your life. I always would see what others had and wish I had it, but then I had to remember that everything looks shiny on the outside! They may want your life!
Badluckjenn.blogspot.com
You are ONE BRAVE LADY. I can't even imagine. I think giving back is so important, I try to do what I can as well. Thanks for the input.
How frustrating! Sadly I think lay offs are just becoming “the norm.” Hope things are going well for you now!
I completely understand how you feel and often have those thoughts myself. I don't think you are being selfish- you just have goals! Once you stop having goals THEN there's a problem.