Confessions of a (mostly) stay at home mom
Let me preface this with a little disclaimer…
Although I consider myself a “stay at home mom”, I actually work about 15 hours a week at my dance studio teaching plus the extra out of studio “stuff” that I’m constantly working on (choreography, class planning, music finding, studio marketing, etc…)
But anyhow…
It began as any other Monday. Until my coffee spilled on the carpet.
I blame it on myself. I thought it was out of reach but it wasn’t (it was in a thermos so don’t worry, she was safe from the heat.)
And then it spilled again, after a tantrum and crazy leg kicking. Now I felt incredibly stupid.
But who would have imagined it would happen again?!
While I was cleaning up that mess (and trying to save my carpet for the second time that day) I heard a rip.
Well, there goes that book.
While I was fixing THAT situation, I heard nothing. SILENCE. Uh oh. I then stumbled upon Bean and bed sheets covered in permanent marker.
I always knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom, or so I thought.
My mom was a (mostly) stay at home mom and I had the BEST memories of the fun that we had while I was growing up. I wanted to have the same kind of memories with my kid(s).
So, I quit my job after 5 years as a hairstylist to focus on my family’s growing dance studio and starting my own family.
I wouldn’t change my schedule for the world. BUT… most days I’m juggling time with Bean and doing choreography/fine-tuning class outlines during the day and then heading out to teach dance for 4 or 5 hours at night.
Sometimes it’s extremely exhausting.
Sometimes, as in last Monday, I can’t wait to get out of the house for a break from the chaos at home.
But at the root of me, I’m an introvert. I need down time. And the only time of day I get for down time, on nights that I teach, is after 10:30 PM.
It can be a tough choice: sacrifice sleep for time to relax, or get sleep and feel like you’re spending every waking moment being in demand.
So where am I going with this?
Despite what I thought was my calling in life, I don’t think I could ever be a TRUE full-time stay at home mom.
If not just by judging the amount of motivation/the accomplishments I made in the week or two that I had totally off in the summer, I know I need some time out of the house to stay sane.
I also firmly believe that I’m the kind of person that’s motivated and gets more done when I’m busy. Not busy enough to feel overwhelmed, but busy enough that I have deadlines and obligations that keep me working.
So there. My confessions of a (mostly) stay at home mom.
Bre, being that I now work from home and take care of the kids I could easily relate here and trust me I too have had my fair share of messes. Most recently was Play Dough. I swear on all that is holy that stuff was just created to make us moms crazy. Yes, I packed it up and it is on a high shelf now for the time being! But seriously, I know what you mean ad I now try my best to take some down time for me in the evenings, but sometimes all I really want to do is sleep!!
I'm currently finishing up my final semester for my B.A and I definitely don't consider myself a SAHM as I'm always on campus. I was really only a SAHM for a few months after my daughter was born and then headed straight back into school. Those few months were actually some of the most difficult months. As much as I love my daughter, it is so much more difficult staying home all day. My sense of motivation and drive to accomplish anything declined; immensely.
I have so much more respect for SAHM's who can do that day in and day out and still be confident, but it's just not for me. I think we all need a little bit of balance in our lives. Even if it's only 15 hours a week at a dance studio. Great post!
Being a SAHM is tough work! Honestly, it's harder than my actual sit down desk job. These toddlers can get into some doozies! Can totally relate about the coffee…but replace coffee with dog dish and Mason turning it over. After a clean up, refill and explination of why he's not supposed to turn it over…problem solved, right? Nope, he turned it over 5 min later thinking it was hilarious…gar.
We have insane days here too! Especially with the two kids stirring up trouble! I've been a full time stay at home mom for three years now and it does start to really wear you down, but I've just found ways to shake it up and stay invested in it especially since I homeschool. I know there is no way I could homeschool, work, and blog and still find time to catch some zzz!
I feel the same way about having enough obligations to stay motivated. Good, honest post! 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
I am a full time stay at home mama and your right its not easy. Its a lot of work but I also had the same memories like you said you did with your mom at home and I am so glad I can bless my children with the same!
I'm convinced that working from home with kids is nearly impossible. At least with a crazy toddler it is! That's always the great decision for me: down time, or sleep?
Oh my goodness yes, I only took 2 weeks off (yes I'm crazy) and then went back to teaching but I can honestly say that I was (pretty much) ready. Maybe one more week would have been nice 😉 I commend full time stay at home mommies that can stay motivated.
I think sometimes our toddlers are smarter than us… or maybe they're just smarter because they're so much more well-rested? hehe
Autumn I look at you and wonder how the heck you do it ALL THE TIME. You're constantly doing such cute things with your kids and then you're also creating so much cute stuff as well! You have definitely found your calling.
Yep, just enough that you feel “accomplished”, not too much that you're overwhelmed.
I'm a work at home Mom, with three little dudes, 4,2, and 8 months. The chaos is what makes it do-able for me. When I had just one, or the two when my second was still itty bitty it was dull. I felt like everyday was the same. I was miserable.
Now I am a work at home Mom, and a full time college student. I have everything scheduled out and I effin love my days. Even the crazy, “I'm going to lock you in a closet if you don't stop that!!” days. 😛
God bless you, I don't know how you do it. I think blogging is such a blessing for SAHM and working moms alike, it brings us all together to have great discussions like this!
HOLY COW lol It's funny how everyone's ideal situation can be so different. I think I would die from exhaustion, you go girl!
I'm a stay at home mom, and I'm homeschooling my son. He's 7 but still does things like white out my husbands keyboard because he gets up before I do (4 am) and he's constantly busy and I always feel like I'm running late, but mostly I don't notice any difference. It seems that each day just blends into the next.
Mana
Fashion and Happy Things
Hey there! Oh yes, I've experienced the pen on furniture although mine was on my sofa in the family room! Thank goodness it was removable. Took tons of hairspray (yes, it really works, the spray, not pump), tide etc. to get it out. about 5 washes too. 🙂 Cheers!
xo Lulu
simplylulustyle.com
Exactly how I try to describe my life to my husband – my every waking moment I feel like I'm in demand. And every night I sacrifice some sleep so that I can have time to myself. It's a vicious cycle!
Oh no. This reminds me of when my kids were younger. Silence almost always means that they are up to no good!
I couldn't agree with you more. I love my two little ones to bits but there are some days where I am counting down the hours till bedtime and its usually only 10am. I am on maternity leave at the moment and was going to be off till January but am thinking of going back for 10-15 hours a week in November just to converse with an adult and not argue with a toddler about whose the boss (he cries and pleads to be the boss.. sigh)
xLaura
(typed at 12:12am when I should be asleep before the next feed but I am getting in that bit of Mummy time)
Oh my, I'm thankful my disaster wasn't on furniture! I did try the hairspray trick on my sheets but it was taking FOREVER so I just gave up lol
Oh yes. I'm stuck in that same vicious cycle.
Haha yeah, I should have known better.
I… am a full time SAHM. And it's great. I hate dealing with people, I hate going out in public (unless it's to shop for goodies for ME). It does get boring but I have a camera and four resin pals and INTERNET!! 😛 It works. But I commend you for juggling life like that. I couldn't do it. For me it's one or the other or nothin.
Oh lordy, I am so not looking forward to the crazy days my child will go through.
I am a full time stay at home mom right now and it's a lot of work. I definitely enjoy the moments
when I am able to get away for a little bit.
I stay at home full time and I love it! Sometimes I miss getting out and meeting new people and having money. But now a days it's hard to meet someone you really can trust.
And a thumbsucker just like my little one 🙂
Oh I so know what you're talking about. I know it's going to be a rough day when I wake up already ready for bedtime lol. Sounds like your toddler has the stubbornness mine does, I feel ya!
It's very interesting how everyone is made different to fit the various mommy-roles. I commend you for being a full time SAHM 🙂
It's cliche but so true, I think being a full time SAHM is the hardest job in the world.
Oh yes, we were both apprehensive about the thumb sucking (orthodontist bills later on) and overjoyed (started sleeping through the night when she discovered it at 3 mos. or so). And I can't imagine finding a stranger/daycare provider for my little one. Luckily the schedule works out that once Dad gets home, I go to work.
I was a thumbsucker. And I had to get braces. But the kids really enjoy it and its very soothing. I can't just pull it out of her mouth. It's more of security than anything. She will suck her thumb when she's tired, nervous or shy, and when she has woken. That's about it. Other than that she's running in circles everywhere!! Lol
I don't trust daycares anymore. I'll work at night and she will go to pre-k. But no daycare. No way.