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Let’s all just vow to stop the “mommy bashing”, ok?

Either I’m totally oblivious, or I am the most amazingly perfect mother ever (obviously it’s the former). I, personally, haven’t been the victim of “mommy bashing” very often if at all. Sure, I get snarky comments from family members, without children mind you, about how I could have handled almost every situation with Bean’s temper and stubbornness differently. I love you, but seriously. I can’t WAIT for what’s coming to you.

I haven’t truly felt the daggers being stared into the back of my head by the next person in line at the grocery store as my “little angel” throws a carton of yogurt on the floor for the 10th time in a row. Maybe it’s because I usually do my errands during the day when all of the other mothers are in the trenches as well, and we’re all just trying to survive a trip to Target. Maybe it’s because I’m afraid of what my innocent little Bean will do out in public when tested.

I was reading Dani’s post the other day, and it struck a chord in me. It’s something that has been brewing in the back of my mind since I became a mother. I have come to the realization that there are two kinds of people stupid enough to verbally judge a mother:

  1. People who aren’t parents themselves
  2. People who haven’t been mothers to a toddler in so long that they suffer from amnesia
I will give the benefit of the doubt to person #2. They think because they’ve raised a perfectly behaved toddler that they are just helping out that poor, misinformed mother. They could have made their 2 year old sit still in the cart after making the last stop during a two hour trip of errands with no bribing or smart phone involved.
Person #1? Just stop. I don’t care if you’ve spent your adolescence babysitting “about a hundred different kids”. Or if you happen to be in a profession that involves children. I know firsthand how skilled a toddler can be with putting on their best face around strangers or favorite extended family members and then letting it all hang loose once Mommy shows up.
Lets just all pledge to stop the “mommy bashing”. Motherhood is a battle all it’s own.

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14 Comments

  1. Isn't that the truth! I get the most criticisms from a friend who has no children. She always tells me how I should have done or should do something and feels that saying, but I've don't have kids makes all her criticisms less hurtful.

    But…you forgot the third type: The mother who lives in a fantasy world about her own perfect child. When her daughter throws a fit, it is obviously because her daughter has been picking up habits from my kids. When her daughter talks back and hasn't been near my kids in months it is obviously because she has been picking up habits from the kids at school because her daughter has NEVER been that kind of child.

  2. It's like saying “no offense…” Just because you throw in a disclaimer doesn't mean it isn't rude, people. Oh yes, there is a third! Thanks for the reminder 😉 Luckily I haven't ran across many of those ones. I'm sure eventually I will.

  3. Yes and amen to you both! I get criticized mostly by the elders in my family. Those are the number two you referenced. Instead of judging, why not help? Or how about getting advise from the ones who are just becoming mommies and think because they have a newborn they know it all now…. Toddlers and newborns are not the same. The same goes for toddlers/young children vs. teens. I dont have a teen yet, but I can assure you that most of the time it looks scary. LOL

  4. But how willing are you to really let someone help / step in and discipline your child.

  5. I have a 4th type I have to deal with. My son is a diabetic so of course there are ALWAYS others (with no children and zero experience with this disease) who try to tell me what I should/shouldn't be feeding him, or what's good for him health-wise.

  6. Yes. 100% yes. Every child is different, every parent is different and there should be no expectation for any child to behave 'perfectly' or any parent to raise a child 'perfectly'. Great post!

  7. It is so annoying the pressure that's out there, I feel like more than ever, to be THE perfect mommy. Oh, and you better be super into fitness and have perfectly done hair and makeup at all times.

  8. Oh my goodness! I love that face! lol! I found you on the blog/instagram hop….wonderful blog! I am following via blogger 🙂

  9. Couldn't agree more! I'll never understand why women choose to bash each other rather than support each other. It's sad, really.

  10. Oh totally. I'm sorry….you can't judge someone in a situation that you have never been in. Reality is, you have no idea what it's like to have children (or what you would really do in the same situation), until you actually do.

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